LITTLE BLACK BOOK: 7 Ways to Boost Your First Date Confidence

Let’s face it, first dates can be nerve-racking, especially if you are crushing hard. The primping in the mirror, hours in the hair salon, perfect outfit selection, and beautifully polished nails could all be for nothing if the date goes horribly wrong because of anxiety. Here are a few tips that may ease any awkward moments and help your date flow.

Tip #1 Meditation & Visualization
After you are all dressed up, right before you leave your house, spend five to ten minutes meditating and visualizing. Even if you are a novice, try it anyways. Studies have shown that mindfulness helps to relieve stress and anxiety. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, relax your shoulders, and say something like “I am relaxed, at peace and will have an awesome time hanging out tonight.” Then envision yourself laughing and having fun on the date.

Tip #2- A Warm Embrace & Smile
When you meet up, smile and offer a hug and try to make it a warm gentle embrace. After the hug, offer a kind compliment. This tells his mind through nonverbal signals that you are safe and friendly. It’s a great way to set the tone for what could be an amazing night.

Tip #3- The Conversation Starter
If it happens naturally, that’s awesome, but if it doesn’t then you could start with something simple like asking how his day went because people like to know that you care. You could transition into asking questions like “Have you ever been here before?” or “What do you like about this place?” Remember to always be your authentic self and impress your date with the things that make you, you. Are you a sci-fi fanatic? Do you dream of one day going to see the Pyramids? Do you have a business you’ve always wanted to start but have been afraid to? Be real and allow yourself to be a little vulnerable. You don’t have to share your deepest secrets but sharing a few quirky things about your personality or life will allow your date to see a glimpse of your core character.

Tip #4 Light Drinking
If you are planning on having a drink, try and keep it nice and light so that you can have all the focus and clarity you need to really absorb what he is saying. According to Match.com’s Eighth Annual Singles in America Survey only 14 percent of singles feel ok with their date having more than three drinks.

Tip #5 Phone Is A No-No
There is nothing worse than a cell that keeps ringing and a person that answers every text. Leave it on vibrate and only answer for emergencies.

Tip #6 Opportunities to Touch
Look for natural ways to touch. If there is a dance floor, go dance. If not, head to the bar and when you are standing there gently put one hand on his arm while you wait for drinks. It’s just another way to nonverbally connect to see if there is chemistry.

Tip #7-Wrapping Up The Date
One of the most stressful things can be not knowing how the other person feels about you after the date is over.  Who has time these days to be worrying about when someone may call. The solution is plain and simple—just be direct. If you want to continue seeing them say something like “Listen, I had a great time and would love to hang out again, let me know either way. I am a fan of good communication.” That’s a nice way to let him know not to mess around with your emotions.

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