Sex and the 40 Something Woman

Sex is the best it ever been in my 40’s for several reasons. I have looked back and compared sex now, to sex in my 20’s and my 30’s and here is what I’ve come up with.

Sex in my 20s

To think about it. Sex was almost a waste of energy and time in my 20’s, but it’s what everyone was doing, right? I was too busy believing my insecurities about my body and how it appeared, but little did I know that I probably had the best body I’ll see, with little to no effort to make it that way. I was so in my own head about what the guy thought of my body, when truth be told, the guys around my age would have probably have screwed a keyhole if they would fit. Now the sex itself…I never truly enjoyed sex in my 20’s. It was a fun time, but orgasms were few and far between, and if I wasn’t satisfied, I never said that I wasn’t. I probably played a hand in some inflated egos that had no business being inflated, so to my fellow ladies, my sincerest apologies. Ahh, to be young and dumb again, no thank you, but that body I will take.

Sex in my 30s

Okay, this whole sex thing should be much easier now, right? I’ve had a whole decade to figure this crap out, right? Not exactly. Now there’s a whole other dilemma. You really want to have more sex now that you know your body, you know what you like, and you know how to express that, but you’d rather not have sex with someone who is not going to be a potential long-term mate. Now the issue is, who to have sex with. Most men who are relationship types are in committed relationships by their 30’s, so if they’re single, they are usually one of three things. Ready? They are just coming out of a committed relationship and want no parts of anything serious right now, or they have never been in anything serious and still feel like they’re not ready to go the route of anything committed, or they have so many issues, they haven’t found the right one to match their level of crazy yet. So, what to do? Do you hold this whole new sexual insight and your vagina hostage, because you’re trying to go the moral and what you see on your vision board route, or do you throw caution to the wind and capitalize on all your new- found sexual education? No, I do not have an answer to those questions, which is why I’m glad to no longer be in my 30’s. You see, sex in the 30’s, better than the 20’s, but not so hot either.

Sex in my 40s

As Etta James would say…At Last! Finally, an age where nothing I mentioned before matters. At the age of 40 we do what we like, however we like. Insecurities about our bodies, no longer an issue when it comes to sex. What our relationship status will be with that individual is no longer necessarily a criterion for us. It is now about what we want. Women are more empowered once we hit our 40’s. Other’s opinions of us no longer matter as much or if at all. We do what pleases us, and that especially goes for sex. So, all hail the 40’s. Ladies, we have arrived.

About the Author:

Sadie Pegues-Hall

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